a skinny fat girl.

 many are shocked when hearing that despite being a fat girl, i in fact, do not have a insatiable sweet tooth nor was i always this plump. frankly sweets are as potent as corny pick-up lines sung off-key by a fashionably malnourished english major with scraggly vegan-friendly shampoo washed golden locks and his second hand acoustic guitar. better yet, exactly a year ago i was a unhappy size 4. it's just somehow being sinfully enamored with all things alcoholic and buttery, living with a spouse who has the metabolism of a god, constantly either working or attempting to put my insomniac mind to sleep - somehow left me 50 lbs fatter. 

still i wish i could slap my thin self upside the head so hard for being so unsatisfied when in fact i'd give a kidney (an alcoholic one, still works great) to be that size once again.

and though i wholeheartedly believe in supporting the beauty of one despite whatever state her waistline may be, i'm just unbearably tired of having to deal with the nauseating thin forever 21 sales-team when asking for a size large and they instead slyly retort by offering directions to torrid. not that i'm insulted, it's just this sudden delightful fantasy to sit on them and not let off a la jackass 2 has been bugging me.

they say we should be able to find beauty that's deep within, i must confess at times even i cannot find my own when it's in four inches of dimpled French butter insulated skin. make it five on the weekends. i've decided once and for all to shove away the rocky road ice cream or perhaps donate it to our local gang of eternally drunken pentecostal bums. it'll be a rocky road, no pun intended, but nonetheless one that'll test my ability to discipline my hedonistic floppy ass.

just some old mug shots (if only it were so) of my own to help re-re-re-inspire me. yes all re's. dammit inspiration is hard to find hahaha, but oh well. i'm excited and anxious to get started. give it a week of no vodka or garlic bread. you'll start seeing posts of butter drenched entrees and delicious glazed little piglets. wish me luck by gorging on the mashed potatoes for me.



Snackapeek. said...

The picture with the umbrella is very good. This look suits you perfect. The blond is very sensual with the red lips.

J. said...

Just came across your blog and have to say, you are quite beautiful!

Sarah @ Pandora's Box said...

My god.. the girls at F21 honestly said that to you? I'd file that under smug and bitch. Ugh. PS, I love how you're able to rock any hair color from blonde to black!

Daphne said...

I am so happy you found my blog and left a comment so I could find you! I love what you have going so far! I will be following as of NOW.
Let me just say--you are GORGEOUS. I mean, one of the most beautiful ladies I've seen in the "blogosphere." You have a stunning face and body, so if you lose weight (or don't) do it simply to feel better and healthier- you don't need to worry about how you look. You are stunning!

S. Kahlon said...

Oh, shush. You are not fat. You've heard it a million times and you'll hear it again. Do you know why? Because it's true.

And sure, you used to be thinner. We all used to be thinner. But we probably wanted to lose weight back then, too. So you know what that means? That we were delusional then, and we're delusional now. And we were beautiful then, and we are beautiful now.

So tell that to the F21 girls who (most probably) cannot string together a coherent sentence and let them smoke it.